To break bad habits 如何改掉坏习惯

你的新年愿望中，有没有改掉之前的坏习惯这一条呢？我们每年都要花很多时间和精力与坏习惯做斗争，但改掉恶习是一项艰难的任务，并且没有捷径可走。下面就来看看怎样才能尽快和坏习惯说再见吧。

A habit is any action that we have performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary response. If we consider this habit to be undesirable then we may label it a "bad habit". People spend countless hours and dollars each year attempting to break these bad habits and often do not have any success. Why? Because there is no magic bullet. Change is hard work and there is no short cut to achieving it. The steps a person needs to take, however, can be very simply outlined. To effect a change in habits, one needs to bring the action back into the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices.

习惯是一个经常做的下意识动作。如果我们认为这是不良的习惯,那么我们就标签它是一个“坏习惯”。人们每年花了无数的时间和金钱努力去改掉这些坏习惯，但通常都是不成功的。为什么?因为没有灵丹妙药。改变是很困难的，是没有捷径的。然而，需要遵守的步骤可以很简单地概括。要改变习惯，需要有意识的行动并且重新恢复做决定的能力。

What's the payoff？

回报是什么？

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet!

改变不良习惯的第一步是看看为什么你会觉得那个动作是那么的具有强制性。换句话说，做这个看似消极的行为有什么回报呢?既然你已经把它划分到“坏”习惯这一类了，你可能会努力想说没有。但细究，总是有回报的。比如说你的坏习惯是对孩子们吼叫。对你来说这将意味着什么?你出了一些气来让自己在那时候感觉好些。或者你有一个坏习惯是不洗碗?带来的可能是，你可以在互联网上花更多的时间!

What's the trade off？

代价是什么呢？

Next, take a look at the trade off. What is it that you are losing by exercising your habit? This step should be easier. Just think why it is that you consider it a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your kids is a bad habit because it leaves everybody feeling tense and tears down your children's self-esteem. You are trading a temporary release of tension for the emotional health of your children. Leaving the dishes undone is a bad habit because your kitchen is a smelly mess. To have more Internet time you are trading off having a pleasant living environment. When you look at it that way it doesn't seem like you are making very wise choices, does it? There has to be a better way.

接下来,看看代价。由于习惯，你又失去了什么呢？这一步应该比较容易。首先，你要知道为什么你觉得它是一个坏习惯。对孩子们吼叫是一个坏习惯，因为它会让每个人都感觉到紧张，也会毁了孩子的自尊。你是以孩子的情绪健康为代价来换取你的一时情绪放松。不洗碗之所以是一个坏习惯是因为你的厨房会变得一团糟。而更多的上网时间是以你舒适的生活环境为代价的。当你以这种方式看待它时，你似乎不是在做明智的选择，难道不是吗?应该有更好的方式。

Now that you've weighed both sides of the issue--your payoff and your tradeoff--it's time to make a choice. It's no longer an involuntary act because now you know that you are making a choice every time you perform this action. You are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff! Each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose. Which do you value more? Do you value more the relief you get by yelling at your kids or do you value their emotional well-being? Do you value more having more Internet time or having a pleasant place to live?

既然你已经权衡过双方的问题——你的回报和代价——接下来是时候做出选择了。这不再是一种无意识的行为，因为现在每次你做这个动作的时候你都知道。你选择你认为更有价值的：回报还是代价!每次你开始做任何不良习惯的事情时，你都要好好的选择。你认为哪个更有价值?你对小孩子大吼大叫来释放你的情绪有价值还是珍惜他们情感健康更有价值?你觉得拥有更多的上网时间还是拥有一个舒适的居住地方更有价值?

Substituting better behaviors

更好的行为来代替

The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. You had tension that needed relief or you had a desire to surf the Net. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfill these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of yelling at your kids you might decide to go for a run every time you are feeling tense. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn't so important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.

It's up to you.

形成你的习惯的整体原因首先是他们需要。你的紧张情绪需要释放或着你想上网。破坏了旧的方式，你仍然需要另一种方式来满足那些需求。你将不仅仅要主动的不去选择旧的行动方式，你也会选择更好的表现，另一种行为。当你感到紧张的时候你可以决定去跑步而不是对孩子们吼叫。当你一个人吃饭的时候你可以选择用纸盘子而不是让脏盘子堆积。新的习惯就是对于你已做选择的感觉是否良好并不那么重要。毕竟，你认为这是一个坏习惯的原因是因为它让你对自己感觉不好。

它取决于你。

By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place. Each time you begin to resume your old patterns the thought will pass through your mind that you are trading X for Y each time you perform that action. You will be forced to make a choice, whether good for bad, about continuing your habit. What choices will you make? The one that makes you feel bad about yourself or the one that makes you feel good? It's up to you.

你现在应该认识到，,继续长期养成一个坏习惯的唯一办法是阻止你这样做的首要原因。每次你开始恢复旧方式的思想时，你将想到你是要以X跟 Y交换的。你将被迫做出选择，不管对于继续你的习惯是好是坏。你将如何选择?是那个让你感觉不好还是那个让你感觉良好的呢?一切取决于你。